m 


BX 

7749 
.F39 
C47 
1853 


Digitized  by 

tine  Internet  Arcliive 

in  2015 

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OE, 


MEMOIRS  OF  THE  LAST  HOURS 


OF 

CAROLKE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


NEW-YORK  : 
JOHN"  F.  TROW,  PRIXTER,  49  AX>^  STREET. 
1853. 


••  The  law  of  the  Lord  is  perfect,  converting  the  soul : 
the  testimony  of  the  Lord  is  sure,  making  wise  the  simple." 

Psalm  19:7. 

One  of  the  most  convincing  evidences  of  the 
reality  of  the  Christian's  hope  may  be  found  at  the 
bed  of  death ;  when  the  unseen  world,  by  its  near 
approach,  appeai-s  indeed  reality ;  when  the  scales  are 
removed  from  the  eyes,  and  the  Lord  Jesus,  by  His 
presence,  not  only  sustains  the  departing  one,  but  so 
fills  the  heart  that  all  things  else  are  swallowed  up  in 
the  ocean  of  His  love ;  and  sur\-ivors,  privileged  to 
be  present,  are  sustained  and  animated  to  their  own 
astonishment. 

The  records  of  such  scenes  are  the  property  of  the 
church,  and  the  propriety  of  withholding  them  is 
questionable.  Such  was  the  case  at  the  decease  of 
Carolin'e  Murray  Ferris,  who  departed  this  life  on 
the  30th  of  Tenth  month,  1852,  aged  39  years. 

She  was  the  wife  of  Lindley  Murray  Ferris,  and 
oldest  daughter  of  Robert  L  and  Elizabeth  Golden 
Murray.  Her  residence  was  at  Coldenham,  Orange 
County,  in  '^^^{j^j^^^^ 


4 


CAPcOLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


Her  disposition  was  diflSdent  and  retiring,  and 
only  those  intimately  acquainted  with  her  could  ap- 
preciate her  character.  She  possessed  a  strong  and 
comprehensive  mind,  which  was  expanded  by  more 
than  ordinary  culture ;  and  was  remarkably  sympa- 
thizing and  disinterested.  A  tale  of  distress,  or  the 
knowledge  of  any  one  in  particular  trouble,  would 
deeply  affect  her  sensitive  feelings,  and  nerve  the 
effort  at  relief 

A  delicate  constitution  subjected  her  to  many  sea- 
sons of  illness,  and  for  several  years  her  friends 
observed,  with  painful  interest,  the  inroads  of  disease 
upon  her  frame.  In  First  month,  1851,  she  ex- 
perienced an  attack  which  rendered  her  for  a  while 
very  prostrate.  She,  however,  partially  recovered,  and 
became  able  to  ride  out ;  but  continuing  very  feeble, 
it  was  thought  best  to  try  the  effect  of  a  sea  voyage, 
and  a  temporary  residence  in  the  Isle  of  Wight.  Ac- 
cordingly, her  husband  accompanied  her,  and  a  short 
time  was  passed  in  that  salubrious  climate.  They  re- 
turned in  the  autumn  to  her  father's  residence  in  the 
city  of  New- York ;  she  being  somewhat  strengthened, 
but  still  the  prey  of  disease. 

In  the  spring  she  returned  to  her  own  home,  and 
appeared  to  be  gaining ;  but  an  occasional  cold  would 
cause  her  to  relapse,  and,  when  she  recovered,  it 
would  not  be  to  the  point  of  former  improvement. 
The  marks  of  rapid  dechne  were  soon  apparent. 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


5 


About  a  month  before  her  decease,  a  fresh  cold 
confined  her  to  the  room.  At  first  she  was  able  to 
sit  up  a  little,  but  soon  became  too  much  prostrated 
by  this  exertion,  and  could  only  afterward  be  re- 
moved to  another  bed.  She  bore  all  that  was  laid 
upon  her  without  a  repining  word,  or  even  the  mani- 
festation of  a  wish  to  query,  why  is  it  thus  ?  And 
althouo-h  silent  at  that  time  as  to  her  feelino^s,  those 
around  her  realized  that  grace  alone  could  enable  a 
wife  and  a  mother  calmly  and  without  a  murmur  to 
look  forward  to  the  severing  of  such  close  and  tender 
ties,  as  well  as  to  bear  with  entire  patience  the  sufi'er- 
ings  of  the  body.  To  the  remark  of  a  friend  and 
neighbor,  "I  trust  you  have  the  promise  of  your 
Heavenly  Father ; "  she  replied,  "  It  would  be  hard 
to  do  without  that." 

Her  strength  was  gradually  failing,  and  inquiry 
was  made  respecting  the  state  of  her  mind.  She 
answered  that  it  was  peaceful ;  that  she  had  given  up 
her  children.  The  same  Power  which  had  assisted 
her  thus  far,  afterward  enabled  her  to  resign  her  hus- 
band also.  She  had,  at  a  previous  time,  expressed 
that  this  was  a  very  difiicult  attainment ;  she  feared 
she  never  should  arrive  at  such  a  state. 

She  was  much  deprived  of  the  privilege  of  religious 
society ;  and  a  strong  desire  was  felt  for  the  company 
of  some  experienced  Christian,  who  might,  perhaps, 
be  strengthened  to  administer  a  word  in  season.  That 
1* 


6 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


heartfelt  desire  was  known  to  the  Master  in  His  courts 
above ;  and  By  His  Holy  Spirit,  He  impressed  upon 
the  heart  of  a  valued  friend  a  prospect  of  duty,  which 
led  her  to  the  family  about  this  time,  where  she  re- 
mained with  the  dear  invalid  until  her  close,  and 
became  her  companion,  tender  sympathizer,  and  nurse. 

Speaking  of  her,  Caroline  remarked,  "  I  can  scarce- 
ly believe  the  goodness  of  the  Lord  in  sending  her  to 
me.  How  wonderful  are  His  dealings  towards  me. 
He  leadeth  me  very  gently  by  the  still  waters." 

The  peace  which  surrounded  her  bed  was  striking, 
and  those  around  her  were  sensible  of  the  overshad- 
owing of  Divine  love  in  an  especial  degree.  The 
power  and  goodness,  also,  of  our  Heavenly  Father 
were  manifest,  enabling  her,  by  the  renewings  of  his 
grace,  to  show  forth  its  suflSciency  to  keep  her  calm, 
quiet  and  resigned,  under  the  most  trying  dispensa- 
tions ; — with  meekness  to  surrender  husband,  and 
children,  and  parents,  and  ties  which  childhood  had 
wrought,  to  Him  who  she  knew  was  able  to  keep 
them  and  j^i'epare  them  to  meet  her  in  His  blissful 
presence ;  with  joy  to  lay  all  her  crowns  at  the  feet 
of  Jesus ;  with  calmness  to  feel  the  dissolving  of  her 
frail  tabernacle ;  with  composure  to  realize  the  closing 
up  of  hope  in  the  gladness  of  fruition ;  she  being 
so  filled  at  times  with  the  love  of  Jesus,  that  she 
could  not  Avithhold  from  ejaculating, — 

"I  am  so  happy,  that  I  desire  to  adore  and  praise 


CAROLINE  JrURRAY  FERRIS. 


7 


my  Father  in  Heaven  for  his  manifest  care  and  good- 
ness towards  such  a  poor  unworthy  creature  as  I  am ; 
I  hardly  dare  beheve  it  possible  for  me  to  feel  so 
much."' 

"In  this  happy  state,"  says  H.,  the  friend  who 
was  now  her  kind  attendant,  "  I  left  her,  with  her 
husband,  and  retired  to  rest.  In  the  morning  I  in- 
quired whether  she  had  slept  well.    She  replied," — 

"  I  was  so  happy  that  I  did  not  wish  to  sleep  ; 
my  bed  felt  like  down,  and  the  air  was  sweet  with  the 
presence  of  my  Saviour.  I  did  not  talk  with  Lindley, 
for  I  could  not  bear  to  have  my  attention  withdrawn 
from  Him.  I  felt  very  much  for  my  dear  husband 
and  children.  I  hope  they  will  be  able  to  give  me 
up  and  seek  Jesus,  who  will  more  than  make  up  for 
my  loss ;  for  He  is  all  that  is  desirable  to  those  who 
find  Him." 

At  one  time,  her  husband  comino^  in  and  takinoj  a 
seat  beside  her,  she  addressed  him  in  substance  as 
follows : 

"  I  have  been  enabled  to  give  thee  up,  and  I  want 
thee  to  try  and  give  me  up  too.  Our  separation  will 
not  be  long,  for  we  shall  soon  be  gathered  home  to 
that  heavenly  place  where  sorrow  and  parting  will  be 
no  more.  I  want  thee  to  seek  the  Saviour.  He  will 
be  more  to  thee  than  I  could  be,  were  I  to  recover. 
He  will  make  thy  way  easy  through  this  life,  by  ena- 
bling thee  to  rejoice  in  being  counted  worthy  to  suffer 


8 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


for  His  sake.  Try  to  be  cheerful  under  the  dispensa- 
tions meted  out  to  thee  by  thy  Heavenly  Father.  He 
designs  all  for  thy  good,  and  will  sanctify  them,  if  thou 
art  rightly  exercised,  to  the  purifying  of  the  soul,  by 
which  thou  wilt  be  enabled  to  show  forth  those  blessed 
fruits  which  characterize  the  true  Christian,  and  to 
teach  our  dear  children  the  fear  of  God,  and  patient 
waiting  for  Christ,  that  they  too  may  be  prepared  to 
meet  Him  at  His  coming." 

After  this,  her  spirit  seemed  to  lose  the  sweet  sa- 
vor of  Divine  communion,  and  she  feared  that  the 
spirit  of  the  world  had  taken  possession  again.  But 
He,  who  never  leaves  His  work  unfinished,  had  en- 
abled her,  by  the  increased  light  of  His  Holy  Spirit, 
to  take  a  more  searching  view  of  her  own  heart,  and 
now  she  thought  she  had  been  too  ready  to  beheve 
her  salvation  accompHshed. 

The  anguish  of  her  tribulated  spirit  was  percepti- 
ble to  those  around.  Being  in  great  distress,  she 
said,  "  I've  been  praying  and  crying,  and  begging  for 
mercy  with  all  my  might  and  strength.  I  have  been 
trusting  in  a  false  peace ; "  subsequently  adding,  "  I 
thought  I  was  prepared  to  die,  but  I  was  only  pre- 
pared for  a  preparation." 

After  passing  through  this  short,  but  severe  con- 
flict, she  w^as  so  filled  with  the  love  of  Jesus  that  she 
broke  forth  in  a  strain  of  the  most  touching  language 
of  which  human  lips  are  capable,  excepting  when 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


9 


under  the  same  qualif\'ing  influence.  It  was  one  of 
thanksgiving  and  praise  to  her  Heavenly  Father  for 
His  own  sake,  who,  through  the  Eternal  Spirit,  had 
revealed  Himself  in  her  by  Jesus  Christ;  for  His 
manifest  care  and  goodness  towards  her ;  and  added 
expressions  of  gratitude  to  H. ;  concluding,  "  I  can- 
not express  the  love  I  feel  for  thee.  May  the  Lord 
bless  and  keep  thee  in  all  thy  ways,  and  greatly  mul- 
tiply thy  blessings,  and  never  suffer  thee  to  lack  any 
good  thing.  Remember  my  dear  husband  and  chil- 
dren. I  hope  I  shall  be  permitted  to  see  Murray  (her 
eldest  son,  who  was  at  Haverford  school),  for  I  should 
like  to  have  my  dear  husband  and  children  all  to- 
gether." 

At  another  time  she  said  to  a  sister-in-law,  to 
whom  she  was  much  attached, — 

"  A.,  come  and  sit  near  me.  I  want  to  tell  thee 
how  happy  I  am."  Her  sister  rephed  that  she  felt 
glad  to  see  her  so  peaceful ;  and  that  this  certainly 
was  the  greatest  of  all  earthly  attainments,  but  very 
diflicult  to  acquire.  She  quickly  remarked,  "iSToth- 
ing  is  more  simple.  It  is  because  we  do  not  go  the 
right  way  to  work.  We  are  trusting  to  our  own 
good  acts  and  righteousness,  when  they  are  all  filthy 
rags.  We  must  go  to  the  feet  of  Jesus,  and  learn  of 
Him.  I  have  tried  all  ways,  and  know  that  nothing 
will  do  but  this.  Heretofore,  in  my  many  illnesses, 
I  have  thought  I  felt  resigned  to  go,  whenever  my 


10 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


Heavenly  Master  should  call  me ;  but  there  was  always 
an  {/*,  or  a  hut — if  it  were  not  for  Lindley,  if  it  were  not 
for  my  little  ones.  Xow,  there  are  no  ifs  nor  huts  in 
the  case.  I  have  resigned  them  all  to  One  who  will 
never  forsake  them,  and  am  quite  ready  ;  casting  all 
my  care,  and  my  whole  heing  upon  Him."  To  the 
remark  by  A.,  that  we  still  hoped  she  might  rally 
again,  and  be  spared  to  us  for  a  season  longer,  she 
replied,  "  I  think  it  not  improbable ;  I  have  often  had 
more  suftering.  But  at  all  events,  the  work  is  done, 
and  I  shall  be  only  waiting." 

The  Divine  presence  was  felt  to  overshadow  in  such 
a  remarkable  manner,  that  the  wish  to  have  M.  at 
home  appeared  to  be  all  that  was  ungratified.  This 
favor  was  granted.  He  arrived  while  his  mother  had 
strength  to  speak  to  him ;  and  was  directed  to  her 
room,  where  were  his  father  and  the  other  children. 

She  entreated  him  not  to  be  too  much  distressed. 
"  The  time  for  pailing  must  have  come  soon  under 
any  circumstances.  All  is  well.  I  hope  thy  seeing 
me  so  happy  will  give  thee  a  more  exalted  opinion  of 
the  religion  of  Jesus.  It  has  done  all  for  me.  I  re- 
joice in  lying  here,  and  feeling  that  every  thing  is  so 
sweet  and  pleasant,  that  words  have  not  power  to  de- 
scribe what  I  enjoy." 

At  intervals,  she  made  the  following  impressive 
remarks :  "  It  is  given  me  to  reahze  that  passage  in 
David,  '  Though  I  walk  through  the  valley  of  the 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


11 


shadow  of  death,  I  will  fear  no  evil ;  iov  thou,  Lord, 
art  ^vith  me ;  thy  rod  and  thy  staff,  they  comfort 
me.' "  Then,  addressing  M.,  she  added :  "  Xow,  thou 
canst  understand  the  meaning  of  this  text,  '  Thy  rod 
and  thy  staffs  they  comfort  me,'  when  thou  seest  that 
I  am  happier  on  my  sick  bed,  bearing  my  sufferings 
for  my  Saviour's  sake,  than  I  should  be,  if  they  were 
all  removed.  This  is  being  comforted  by  the  rod." 
Referring  to  a  season  of  great  oppression  she  had  ex- 
perienced in  the  morning,  she  said :  "  I  felt  the  rod 
comforting  me  then.  Xow  I  lie  here  so  happy,  and 
feel  the  decapng  of  this  poor  body,  the  suffering  and 
death  of  which  is  the  rod  for  sin  appointed  for  us  all, 
I  can  say  I  feel  it  good  to  suffer,  while  I  am  enabled 
to  realize  also  the  comfort  of  His  staff,  which  is  the 
Holy  Spirit,  that  is  able  to  make  us  rejoice  and  praise 
Him  for  every  pain.  I  have  suffered  so  little  that  I 
crave  more.  I  do  not  fear  death.  I  want  to  have  a 
part  in  my  Saviour's  baptism  before  I  die." 

Then,  addressing  all  the  children :  *•  I  want  you 
all  to  remember  what  I  say  to  you.  Be  good  chil- 
dren ;  love  one  another ;  be  kind ;  never  disagree. 
I  want  you  to  remember  this  when  I  am  gone,  and 
50  live  that  we  may  be  a  united  family  in  heaven. 
Reynemher,  a  united  family  in  heaven.  Seek  the 
Saviour,  and  walk  with  Him,  and  it  will  not  be  long 
before  we  shall  all  meet  to  part  no  more.  I  want  you 
to  remain  with  '  Fiiends,'  and  embrace  their  princi- 


12 


CAROLINE  MUP.RAY  FERRIS. 


pies.  They  will  teach  you  to  be  quiet,  and  learn  in 
silence  the  doctrine  of  Jesus,  which  is  the  power  of 
God  unto  salvation.  Wait  for  it,  and  prefer  it  above 
every  thing  else.  Go  to  meeting  as  often  as  you  pos- 
sibly can,  for  it  is  better  than  to  be  spending  your 
time  in  any  other  way.  Be  kind  to  every  body,  that 
is  right." 

After  this  interview,  she  inquired  for  one  who  had 
at  times,  since  her  childhood,  been  employed  upon 
the  premises,  and  had  occasionally  fallen  into  intem- 
perate habits.  "When  he  came,  she  earnestly  pleaded 
with  him,  stating  that  when  he  had  pledged  to  re- 
form, she  had  prayed  that  he  might  hold  out ;  encour- 
aging him,  as  his  attempts  had  been  fruitless,  to  try 
once  more,  and  she  prayed  God  to  help  him.  She 
then  expressed  to  him  the  happiness  she  felt,  and 
stated  that  she  would  not  exchange  her  situation  for 
any  other,  if  she  could  ;  that  she  was  ready  to  go  at 
any  moment ;  and  was  so  filled  Avith  the  love  of  Je- 
sus, that  she  already  tasted  of  the  joys  of  heaven.  All 
this,  she  added,  was  for  him,  if  he  would  only  try,  and 
she  thought  this  might  encourage  him  to  try  harder 
than  he  had  ever  done  before.  She  then  warned  him, 
as  he  prized  the  salvation  of  his  poor  soul,  to  flee  to 
the  Saviour,  and  pray  for  mercy  and  help ;  adding, 
that  awful  would  be  the  consequences  if  he  should 
continue  to  reject  His  love  and  mercy,  by  giving  way 
to  drink,  as  he  had  done  heretofore,  and  that  it  was 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


13 


with  her  dymg  breath  she  warned  him,  in  hopes  it 
might  have  some  effect,  for  she  wanted  to  meet  him 
in  heaven.  She  then  bade  him  f^irewell,  and  re- 
marked, "My  work  is  nearly  finished." 

At  different  times  she  expressed  herself  in  the  fol- 
lowing manner  :  "  A  few  more  conflicts,  but  they  are 
happy  ones."  "I  do  not  ask  for  a  termination  of  my 
suffering,  though  I  am  ready,  and  would  gladly  go 
this  night,  if  it  were  my  Father's  will,  but  I  desire  to 
bear  all  that  is  His  will  concerning  me."  "  Come, 
Lord  J esus,  come  quickly,  if  consistent  with  Thy  will ; 
yet  not  my  will,  but  Thine  be  done."  "  Sweet  Jesus, 
Thy  presence  is  even  now  with  me."  And  quoted  the 
following  text  as  applicable  to  herself :  "  Blessed  and 
holy  is  he  that  hath  part  in  the  first  resurrection  ;  on 
such  the  second  death  hath  no  power." 

Again :  "  How  great  the  peace  that  encircles  my 
mind  I  I  am  so  filled  with  the  love  of  my  Sa\iour, 
that  I  desire  to  sufier  for  and  with  Him,  before  I  go. 
I  want  His  cup  and  baptism,  that  I  may  have  a  part 
in  the  fellowship  of  His  sufferings."  After  lying  still 
a  while  she  added,  "  I  shall  be  able  to  partake  of  it, 
and  after  my  sufferings  I  shall  be  taken." 

Her  physician  coming  in,  she  addressed  him,  with 
much  earnestness,  respecting  her  treatment,  warning 
him  not  to  give  intoxicating  hquor  to  stupefy  and  be- 
numb the  mind  when  trying  to  prepare  for  a  coming 
eternity. 

2 


14 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


Having  taken  leave  of  him,  she  remained -quiet  a 
little,  but  soon  resumed  the  train  of  her  former 
thoughts  and  feehngs,  saying,  "  The  time  of  my  suf- 
ferings has  come.  A  heavy  black  cloud  is  drawing 
over  me.  What  does  it  mean  ? "  Being  told  that  it 
seemed  figurative  of  the  darkness  that  accompanied 
the  sufferings  and  death  of  our  Saviour,  she  added, 
"  When  I  pass  through  this,  I  shall  go." 

After  this,  she  suffered  what  appeared  to  be  a  spas- 
modic affection,  which  she  called  "  the  buffe tings  of 
Satan,"  and  said  they  were  very  hard  to  bear,  as  she 
was  trying  to  keep  "  the  word  of  patience  firm  to  the 
end."  "  Satan  has  no  power  over  my  mind,"  she  con- 
tinued, after  a  while,  "  for  I  am  AvilHng  to  suffer  all 
the  will  of  my  Heavenly  Father  for  His  sake  who 
has  done  so  much  for  me.  His  ordeals,  through 
which  I  am  passing,  are  comparable  to  Hquid  fire,  and 
I  feel  that  I  am  almost  consumed.  Oh,  what  a  poor 
unworthy  creature  !  I  am  not  deserving  of  His  notice 
in  the  least." 

Resting  a  little,  she  added,  "  I  do  not  shrink  from 
suffering.  I  am  not  the  least  shaken  in  mind.  I  have 
no  fear,  but  it  is  much  greater  than  I  expected.  I  w^ill 
try  to  keep  as  still  as  possible."  Then,  after  a  while, 
"I  feel  peaceful,"  and  again,  "I  see  Jesus." 

Then,  turning  in  bed,  she  continued :  "  So  many 
in  the  room  ojDpress  me  ;"  and  at  her  request  all  left 
her,  excepting  two,  w^ho  intended  remaining  for  the 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


15 


night.  She  said  but  little  for  some  time.  Her  suf- 
ferings appeared  very  gi-eat.  She  asked  for  a  text  to 
support  and  stay  her  mind.  The  request  having  been 
complied  Avith,  she  said,  "  It  strengthens  me."  Soon 
after  she  fell  into  a  state  of  rest.  Covering  her  face 
with  her  handkerchief,  she  said,  "  Let  us  be  quiet.  I 
think  it  is  almost  over."  Then,  "I  want  to  die," 
and,  throwing  herself  back  into  the  arms  of  H.,  she 
expired  without  speaking  again. 

Thus  passed  away  her  purified  spirit  on  the  30th 
of  Tenth  month,  1852  ;  and  has,  without  doubt,  jomed 
the  innumerable  throng  surrounding  the  throne, 
ascribing  praises  unto  the  Lord  God  and  to  the  Lamb 
for  ever. 

It  may  not  be  inappropriate  to  this  memorial  to 
add  the  following  beautiful  and  descriptive  hues,  ad- 
dressed to  the  eldest  son  of  the  deceased,  and  sent  to 
him  after  his  return  to  Haverford,  accompanying  a 
lock  of  his  mother's  hair. 

My  mother !    Oh !  and  is  this  all, 

All  that  is  left  of  thee— 

The  fond  heart  hashed — the  sweet  lips  closed, 

And  she  we  loved  s )  tenderly, 

Our  own, — our  blest, — our  sainted  one  ; 

Alas!  Great  God!  and  is  she  gone ? 

Yet  list  again  ;  again  I  hear 
That  hallowed  voice,  that  hallowed  prayer, 
Forbidding  us  to  grieve  or  pine, 
Beseeching  us  to  bow  resigned — 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


And  meekly  drink  the  bitter  cup 

Her  spirit  drained — then  yielded  up — 

And  gently  pointing  to  the  Way, 

The  Life,  the  Truth,  where  none  may  stray, 

Will  they  but  go  to  Jesus'  feet. 

And  lowly  at  the  Mercy  Seat 

Be  taught  of  Him,  as  she  was  taught, 

Calmly  to  bear,  yet  murmur  not ; 

Resign  us  all — earth's  holiest  ties — 

Her  treasured  ones,  with  streaming  eyes, 

The  chosen  of  her  early  love. 

Whose  breaking  heart,  bereft  and  torn, 

Must  yet  live  on,  to  weep  and  mourn, 

To  know  and  feel  the  chastening  rod 

That  seals  his  covenant  with  God. 

Blest  mother!  from  thy  throne  so  high 

Couldst  thou  look  down  with  mortal  eye, 

And  see  the  anguish  of  our  home, 

That  thou  hast  left  so  sad  and  lone  ; — 

Where  every  thing  still  speaks  of  thee, 

And  every  flower,  and  leaf,  and  tree, 

Thy  requiem  breathes  so  tenderly ; — 

No  cheerful  smile  to  greet  us  there, 

The  fireside  group, — the  vacant  chair, — 

Our  father  f    *    *    *    Oh !  thou  couldst  not  chide, 

For  "Jesus  wept"  when  Lazarus  died. 

But  thou  wouldst  pity,  aye,  and  plead 
So  fervently  with  thy  loved  God, 
That  He  would  send  His  Comforter 
To  help  us  here  fulfil  His  law. 
And  teach  our  bleeding  hearts  to  soar 


CAROLINE  MURRAY  FERRIS. 


IV 


Above  the  fleeting  things  of  time, 
That  when  life's  troubled  sea  is  o'er, 
We'd  meet  thee  on  that  happy  shore. 
Where  grief  and  parting  are  no  more- 
Yes,  mother!  dearest  mother,  yes. 
There  is  such  comfort,  joy  in  this, — 
When  we  can  chase  earth's  thoughts  away 
And  bow  submissively,  and  say, 
*' Tliy  will,  Great  God, be  done;" 
And  hear  again  that  angel  voice. 
That  bade  us  in  the  cross  rejoice, — 
Those  holy  consecrated  words, 
That  bore  thy  parting  breath  away, 
Proclaiming  Hun  thy  "staff  and  rod," 
Beseeching  us  to  watch  and  pray. 
That  soon  united  we  should  be 
A  happy,  holy  family, 
In  heaven  above.    And  Oh,  this  joy  ! 
"Remember  this,  my  darling  hoy  !  " 


2' 


SHOET  ACCOUNT 

OF  THE 

Biclntn\6  11  It  (I  flea 

OF 

GERTRUDE  COLDES  HUSSEY. 


*'  Tlie  path  of  the  just  is  as  the  shining  light,  that  sliineth 
more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  dav," 

Prov.  4:  18. 

It  is  not  witli  a  wish  to  extol  the  character  or  relig- 
ious attainments  of  the  deceased,  that  the  following 
memoranda  of  the  last  few  weeks  of  her  life  have  been 
taken;  but  to  endeavor  to  perpetuate  the  remem- 
brance of  the  love  of  God  towards  her,  and  thereby  to 
magnity  that  Power  whose  redeeming  love  cleanses, 
purifies  and  prepares  for  His  spotless  kingdom,  all 
who  in  living  faith  cast  their  burdens  upon  Him. 

Gertrude  C.  Hussey  was  the  third  daughter  of 
Robert  I.  and  Elizabeth  Golden  Murray,  of  New- 
York.  She  was  married  to  George  F.  Hussey,  of 
Xew-Bedford,  in  the  23d  year  of  her  age;  and  at 
the  period  of  her  death  resided  at  West  Farms,  in 
Westchester  county,  State  of  New- York. 

Having  been  out  of  health  for  some  time,  she  left 
home,  accompanied  by  her  husband,  Second  month 
6th,  1848,  for  the  benefit  of  a  sea  voyage,  and  a  tem- 
porary residence  in  a  southern  climate. 

After  visiting  Charleston,  some  other  parts  of  South 
Carohna,  and  Savanuah,  they  proceeded  to  Havana  ; 
and  having  remained  a  few  weeks  on  the  Island  of 


22 


GERTRUDE  GOLDEN  HUSSEY. 


Cuba,  they  sailed  for  New-Orleans,  and  returned  home 
through  the  Valley  of  the  Mississippi,  without  any 
improvement  in  the  health  of  the  dear  invalid.  She 
was  remarkably  patient  and  uncomplaining  amidst  all 
the  privations  and  inconveniences  peculiar  to  travel  in  a 
Spanish  country,  as  well  as  other  portions  of  their  route. 

During  their  long  journey,  it  was  a  source  of  much 
comfort  to  her  frequently  to  hear  the  Scriptures  read. 
She  also  expressed  the  great  satisfaction  it  was  to  her 
to  be  able  to  attend  a  Friends'  meeting  in  Cincinnati, 
and  once  more  to  mingle  with  members  of  the  relig- 
ious Society  to  which  she  belonged,  and  the  principles 
of  which  she  dearly  loved. 

Soon  after  her  return  home,  she  was  looking  for- 
ward with  much  pleasure  towards  a  visit  to  Colden- 
ham,  and  appeared  almost  to  feel  that  she  should 
there  be  invigorated  with  new  life.  This  was  her  na- 
tive place.  Much  of  her  childhood  had  been  passed 
there,  and  a  tenderly  attached  sister  resided  in  the  old 
homestead.  The  remark  was  ventured,  "  Do  not  be 
too  sanguine."  Alluding  to  this  in  the  evening,  she 
said :  "  Thou  checked  me  when  I  was  anticipating  so 
much  from  my  visit  to  Coldenham ;  but  it  was  merely 
a  childish  joy,  expected  from  visiting  the  scenes  of 
our  early  attachments,  and  being  with  those  we  love." 
"  Didst  thou  think  I  was  not  aware  of  my  situation  ?  I 
do  not  expect  any  permanent  improvement  from  it. 
T  know  that  I  am  very  much  out  of  health,  and  unless 


GERTRUDE  GOLDEN  HUSSEY. 


23 


there  is  some  change  soon  for  the  better,  there  will  be 
in  some  other  way,  and  I  think  sometimes  it  may  be 
nearer  than  I  am  aware  of."  "  I  have  tried  to  be  re- 
signed, and  have  never  allowed  myself  at  night  to 
wish  that  I  may  be  better  in  the  morning,  or  in  the 
morning  that  I  may  be  better  at  night."  "The 
thought  of  leaving  George  alone  in  the  world  is  a 
trial.  My  children  loill  he  cared  for.  I  know  who 
has  promised  to  be  a  '  Father  to  the  fatherless.' " 
Upon  being  asked  how  she  felt  as  regarded  herself  in 
view  of  the  prospect,  she  answered,  "  Comfortable  ;" 
and  that  in  looking  towards  it,  these  words  had  been 
presented  to  her  mind,  "Jesus  will  be  with  thee." 
"  I  feel  my  Saviour  near  me,  and  that  my  sins  are 
forgiven  ;  yet  there  is  a  great  work  to  be  done  still, 
and  I  do  not  see  the  way  open  before  me ;  but  I  be- 
lieve my  Saviour  will  not  take  me  out  of  the  world 
until  a  mansion  is  prepared  for  me.  My  first 
thoughts,  in  the  night,  on  waking,  are  of  my  Saviour, 
and  it  now  seems  easy  to  '  pray  without  ceasing.'  I 
never  could  understand  it  before.  I  fear  sometimes 
that  I  am  not  on  a  sure  foundation,  but  I  do  love  my 
Saviour.  /  can  say  that^  "My  affections  have 
been  more  turned  away  from  the  world  since  the 
death  of  my  httle  R.  That  seemed  like  my  first 
trial.  Those  of  my  childhood  were  forgotten.  I  felt 
at  that  time, '  Can  I  give  him  up  ? '  '  Can  I  part  with 
him  with  resignation  'i '  and  I  prayed  for  help."  And 


24 


GERTRUDE  COLDEX  HUSSEY. 


those  of  US  know  that  it  was  granted,  who  witnessed 
the  cahn  and  beautiful  resignation  with  which  she 
bore  the  separation  from  that  lovely  child.  She  then 
remarked,  that  the  first  passage  of  Scripture  which 
met  her  eye  after  this, was,  "Thy  God  has  command- 
ed thy  strength." 

The  following  extract  is  from  a  note,  addressed  to 
one  of  the  family,  about  a  year  after  the  decease  of 
her  little  boy ;  and  in  which  she  says,  on  that  day  "  I 
resolved  the  principal  aim  of  my  life  should  be  the 
one  thing  needful." 

"  As  Christmas-day  approaches,  it  makes  me  feel 
more  sensibly  the  uncertainty  of  all  things  here,  that 
before  another  year  sets  in  my  little  Golden  may 
leav-,'  me  also.  I  have  therefore  intended  for  some 
time  past  to  spend  the  26th,  that  day  on  which  mv 
affections  were  so  severely  rent,  in  quiet  at  home." 

"Now,  my  dear   ,  thou  needst  not  think  I 

am  repining  at  this  blow ;  I  would  not  call  my  child 
back  again ;  I  only  w^ish  to  profit  by  it  in  such  a  way 
that  I  shall  not  need  another — for  I  know  and  feel 
that  was  done  in  mercy ;  and  it  is  in  order  to  keep 
these  present  feehngs  alive,  that  I  shall  endeavor,  I 
hope  as  long  as  I  hve,  to  remember  the  26th  of  the 
12th  month." 

After  spending  about  two  weeks  at  Coldenham,  she 
returned  home,  without  having  derived  the  anticipat- 
ed benefit.    She  appeared  quite  sensible  that  she 


GERTRUDE  COLDEN  HUSSEY. 


25 


was  leaving  the  place  of  her  nativity  for  the  last 
time;  but  manifested  no  feehngs  of  anxiety.  The 
sweet,  calm  and  resigned  frame  of  her  spirit,  seemed 
emphatically  to  breathe  the  language,  "  What  pleases 
God,  please3"^ie.""  On  passing  through  the  city,  and 
leaving  the  parental  roof  for  her  own  home,  no  doubt 
with  a  consciousness  of  the  strong  probability  that  she 
should  never  re-enter  it,  the  serenity  of  her  mind  was 
not  disturbed. 

Her  eldest  child,  a  boy  between  four  and  five  years 
of  age,  had  been  afflicted  with  epilepsy  for  more  than 
a  year.  The  attacks  continued  to  be  truly  distress- 
ing,  and  to  require  both  mental  and  bodily  strength 
to  encounter ;  yet  some  months  since,  when  uneasi- 
ness was  expressed  to  her,  that  C.  should  sleep  in  her 
room,  as  he  had  a  faithful  nurse  to  watch  him,  she 
replied,  "  Perhaps  I  view  these  attacks  of  C.'s  in  a 
different  lio-ht  from  othei-s.  I  reQ:ard  them  as  inflicted 
by  our  Heavenly  Father  for  our  refinement," — mean- 
ino-  her  husband  and  hei"self, — "  therefore  I  think  it 
would  not  be  riglit  for  me  to  transfer  a  burden  to 
another,  that  was  particularly  designed  for  ourselves.** 
It  appeai-s  evident  that  she  did  not  feel  at  Hberty  to 
ask  that  this  affiiotive  chastisement  might  be  removed, 
but  only  that  she  might  be  endued  with  strength  and 
resignation  to  bear  all  that  her  Heavenly  Parent  saw 
best  to  inflict. 

Several  times  after  reaching  home,  she  expressed 
3 


126 


GERTRUDE  GOLDEN  HUSSEY. 


the  great  favor  she  felt  it  to  be,  that  strength  had 
been  granted  her  to  perform  their  journey  South,  and 
then  to  make  a  farewell  visit  at  Coldenham,  having 
for  some  time  evidently  been  convinced  that  she  should 
not  recover,  and  looking  towards  that  better  city, 
whose  walls  are  called  salvation,  and  whose  gates 
praise." 

From  this  time  she  declined  rapidly.  A  bihous 
attack,  added  to  her  other  complaints,  soon  reduced 
her  to  a  state  of  great  weakness  and  exhaustion. 

8th  Mo.  24th.  When  those  present  had  withdrawn, 
excepting  one  member  of  the  family,  she  threw  her 
arras  around  her  neck,  and  gave  vent  to  a  flood  of 
tears,  saying,  with  deep  and  intense  feehng,  "  I  want 
resignation.  I  have  not  felt  fully  willing  to  be  re- 
moved at  this  time  ;  I  have  thought  this  attack  might 
pass  off.  This  is  what  troubles  me."  It  was  re- 
marked in  reply,  that  it  had  been  instruciive  to  ob- 
serve 'lier  quiet,  patient  state  of  mind ;  that,  under 
her  circumstances,  with  so  much  to  attach  her  to  life, 
entire  resignation  was  a  great  attainment ;  and  that 
even  our  blessed  Lord,  at  the  last  extremity,  prayed, 
"  If  it  be  possible,  let  this  cup  pass  from  me ;"  and 
that  if  her  prayers  were  put  up  to  her  God.  without 
doubt  they  would  be  heard  and  regarded.  She  ex- 
claimed, "  Oh,  I  am  not  worthy  to  pray  I  "  and  spoke 
of  feehng  great  desertion.  She  was  informed  that 
poverty  of  spirit  was  no  evidence  that  she  was  for- 


GERTRUDE  COLDEN  HUSSEY. 


27 


saken,  or  that  lier  Heavenly  Father  had  withdrawn 
His  presence  from  her ;  and  that  an  assurance  had 
been  felt  that  the  "  Eternal  God  was  her  refuge,  and 
underneath  were  the  Everlasting  Arms."  With  a 
composed,  sweet  expression  of  countenance,  she  re- 

pHed,  "  Oh,  ,  thou  hast  comforted  me ! "  She 

was  then  reminded  how  she  had  been  supported 
when  her  little  son  was  taken  from  her.  She  said, 
"I  prayed  for  resignation,  and  obtained  it.  Since 
that  time  my  attachment  to  earth  has  been  very 
much  lessened."  She  then  tried  to  recollect  a  few- 
lines  of  poetry,  the  purport  of  which  was,  a  lamb  was 
taken  from  the  fold  and  translated  to  a  higher  sphere, 
in  order  to  allure  the  parents  there.  Much  deeply  in- 
teresting conversation  took  place  at  this  time ;  and  at 
the  conclusion  she  said,  with  much  feeling,  "  When 
thou  findst  access  to  the  throne  of  grace,  pi-ay  for 
me.*' 

2oth.  In  the  course  of  the  night,  several  portions 
of  Scripture  Avere  read  to  her.  She  seemed  peaceful 
and  composed,  and  made  several  remarks  which 
evinced  that  she  was  laboring  to  keep  her  mind 
stayed  on  the  only  sure  refuge  for  the  weary  soul. 

29th.  Sending  for  one  of  the  family  into  the  room, 
she  said,  with  emotion,  that  whenever  she  awoke  in 
the  night,  she  felt  her  heart  overflow  with  gratitude 
to  her  Heavenly  Father  for  His  many  mercies  ;  that 
she  loved  to  he  awake,  and  think  of  His  goodness ; 


28 


GERTRUDE  GOLDEN  HUSSEY. 


but,  she  added,  weeping,  "  I  cannot  describe  my  feel- 
ings ;"  and  appeared  to  want  an  assurance  of  Divine 
regard.  She  inquired  whether  it  was  wrong  to  ask 
for  an  evidence  that  our  prayers  were  heard.  A  be- 
Hef  was  expressed  that  it  was  not,  and  a  hope  that 
she  would  not  be  discouraged  if  she  waited  long  for 
an  answer.  She  was  reminded  of  the  prophet  Elijah, 
who  pi'ayed  seven  times  for  rain,  before  his  prayer 
was  granted ;  with  which  she  seemed  comforted,  and 
remarked,  that  she  had  been  laboring  for  resignation ; 
that  she  had  felt  at  times  rather  acute  pain,  and  had 
thought,  if  it  might  be  the  means  of  her  jxirificatiou, 
she  would  be  willing  to  suffer  ;  that  sometimes  com- 
pany diverted  her  mind  from  the  only  source  of  con- 
solation ;  she  wanted  quiet. 

30th.  Throuo;h  the  nio-ht  her  couo-h  was  distress- 
ing,  and  expectoration  diflScult.  Sne  seemed  affected 
at  observing  her  feet  and  ankles  swollen,  and  inquired 
if  it  were  not  the  last  symptom.  On  being  told  it  in- 
dicated great  weakness,  but  that  dissolution  did  not, 
necessarily,  immediately  follow,  she  exclaimed,  "  Oh, 
if  I  should  be  snatched  away  before  I  am  entirely 
ready,  how  awful  it  would  be  !"  A  belief  was  ex- 
pressed that  time  would  be  given  her  for  full  prepa- 
ration. She  then  remarked,  that  she  wanted  more 
retirement,  and  approved  of  the  suggestion  of  being 
removed  into  another  room.  During  the  day  she 
was  quiet  and  composed,  and  requested  that  her  love 


GERTRL'DE  COLDEN  HUSSEY. 


29 


should  be  given  to  all  her  young  friends  and  elderly 
ones  also,  adding,  "  My  heart  overflows  with  love  to 
the  whole  human  family."  She  spoke  feelingly  and 
consolingly  to  her  father  on  his  evincing  much  emo- 
tion at  the  prospect  of  parting  with  her,  endeavored 
to  reconcile  hira  to  the  separation,  and  observed  that 
she  had  no  merit  of  her  own.  Some  time  after,  she 
expressed  a  fear  that  she  was  not  wholly  resigned, 
from  feeling  a  degree  of  satisfiiction  when  her  symp- 
toms were  allayed. 

31st.  Before  composing  herself  for  the  night,  she 
remarked,  "My  Saviour's  arms  have  been  round 
about  me.  I  have  felt  His  presence."  A  little  after, 
Can  it  be  a  delusion  ? "  A  belief  was  expressed  that 
she  had  been  sustained  by  the  Almighty,  and  that 
He  would  continue  with  her  until  the  end.- 

9th  Mo.  1st.  She  was  much  prostrated.  To  one  of 
the  family  who  had  been  absent  several  days,  she  said, 
"  Thou  findst  me  much  changed."  "  I  am  perfectly 
happy."  "  My  Everlasting  Father  supports  me."  The 
reply  was  made,  "  And  He  will  continue  to  do  so." 
She  added,  "  If  my  faith  holds  out.  If  I  can  only 
remain  wdiere  I  am  without  slipping.  I  fear  I  have 
not  suffered  enough  yet."  Being  told  that  Jesus  had 
suffered,  and  we  receive  the  peace,  she  replied,  It  is 
only  on  the  merits  of  Jesus  I  rely." 

In  the  evening  she  was  very  serene,  and  her  mind 
enjoying  that  rest  which  alone  belongs  to  the  re- 
3* 


30 


GERTRUDE  GOLDEN  HUSSEY. 


deemed  of  tlie  Lord.  She  said  it  seemed  as  if  the 
arms  of  her  Heavenly  Father  were  continually  around 
her,  and  asked  to  have  some  of  our  Saviour's  sayings 
repeated  to  her.  A  little  after :  "I  sometimes  dread 
the  last  conflict,  and  have  prayed  that  I  might  have 
an  easy  passage."  She  remarked,  with  much  calm- 
ness, it  was  hardly  likely  all  her  family  would  be 
around  her  when  she  expired,  her  brothers  being  in 
the  city ;  and  on  the  passage  being  quoted,  "  Thei'e 
is  one  that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother,"  she  assent- 
ed, and  added,  "  It  is  of  little  consequence."  In  the 
course  of  the  day,  speaking  of  her  extreme  weakness, 
and  the  probability  of  her  not  holding  out  much 
longer,  she  said,  "  It  almost  seems  like  presumption 
to  think  I  am  so  near." 

In  the  course  of  a  conversation  with  her,  she  re- 
marked that  she  had  long  been  in  the  practice  of  re- 
tiring to  read  the  Scriptures,  particularly  the  New 
Testament,  but  since  she  had  been  sick,  she  had  re- 
gretted she  was  not  more  familiar  with  the  Prophets. 
She  had  thought  she  could  not  understand  them,  but 
now  passages  had  been  so  clearly  and  instructively 
opened  to  her  comprehension,  that  she  felt  as  though 
she  had  sustained  a  loss  by  not  being  more  familiar 
with  them. 

9th  Mo.  2d.  She  expressed  that  she  felt  nothing  in 
her  way — all  was  clear.  "My  Saviour's  arms  are 
round  about  me.    When  I  go  to  sleep  and  when  I 


GERTRUDE  COLDEX  HUSSEY. 


31 


awake,  He  sustains  me.  Yet  I  feel  it  necessary  to 
keep  on  the  watch-to^ver. "  On  being  told  that  the 
power  and  sweetness  of  redeeming  love  had  been  felt 
in  an  especial  manner,  she  replied,  "  I  have  been  re- 
posing in  the  love  of  Jesus."  At  another  time, "  What 
should  I  do  without  a  Saviour  ?  "  A  little  previously 
to  this,  "  It  has  been  a  deep  and  hard  struggle  to  give 
you  all  up,  but  I  would  not  exchange  places  with  any 
of  you.  I  can  freely  commit  you  all  into  the  hands 
of  a  kind  care-taking  Providence,  and  trust  to  meet 
you  all  within  the  pearly  gates," 

In  a  conversation  with  her  husband,  she  said  to 
him,  "  My  dear  husband,  pray  for  me.  This  trial 
will  be  sanctified  to  thee."  "  Strive  to  keep  thy  eye 
single  to  the  dear  Redeemer."  "  The  Saviour^s  arms 
are  around  me,  supporting  me." 

3d.  In  the  coui^e  of  the  day  she  expressed  a  fear 
that,  as  her  Christian  race  had  been  so  short,  she 
should  not  find  acceptance,  and  felt  humbled  under 
a  sense  of  her  unworthiness  and  insignificance.  She 
was  reminded  that  "two  sparrows  were  sold  for  a 
farthing,  and  not  one  of  them  was  forgotten  before 
God."  She  replied,  "I  have  been  thinking  of  that 
much  to-day."  "  I  could  talk  to  thee  a  great  while 
on  these  subjects,  they  are  so  sweet  to  me." 

4th.  Increased  bodily  snfl'ering,  but  through  ali 
patient  and  resigned.  She  had  much  to  say  to  one 
of  her  brothers,  although  her  voice  was  so  weak  she 


32 


GERTRUDE  COLDEX  HUSSEY. 


could  scarcely  be  heard.  She  was'  cautioned  ahout 
exertino-  her  little  streno-th  so  much.  "I  have  not 
long  to  speak;  I  must  while  I  can."  Her  heart 
seemed  to  ovei-flow  with  affection  towards  all.  She 
spoke  of  the  sense  she  had  of  the  Lord's  presence, 
adding,  "  I  feel  sweet  peace,  such  love  towards  all. 
Can  it  be  a  delusion  ? "  She  was  informed  that  it 
was  thought  we  needed  no  further  evidence  than  we 
were  receiving,  that  she  was  sustained  by  the  arms  of 
her  Saviour. 

5th.  She  remarked  to  one  of  the  family,  with  whom 
she  had  much  interesting  conversation,  "  I  felt  restless 
in  the  night,  and  could  not  sleep ;  sat  up  in  a  chair, 
but  felt  condemned  for  not  being  willing  to  suffer  all 
that  was  appointed  me ;  lay  down  again,  and  prayed 
for  patience,  and  felt  comforted."    "  And  I  prayed  for 

thee,  dear  ,  that  thou  might  partake  of  all  the 

consolation  thou  hast  administered  to  me."  She 
spoke  of  having  left  her  two  little  boys,  relying  with 
confidence  on  the  promises  of  Jesus ;  and  alluded  to 
the  domestics,  wishing  to  have  some  little  tokens- 
given  to  them.  She  asked,  with  calmness,  whether 
tliere  were  any  indications  of  death  in  her  counte- 
nance, and  w^as  answered  in  the  negative ;  spoke  of 
the  severe  trial  it  had  been  to  give  up  her  dear  hus- 
band and  children,  and  of  the  fear  she  felt  of  having 
the  latter  in  her  room,  lest  they  should  lure  her  back 
to  earth  ;  remarked  how  pleasant  it  was  to  hear  their 


GERTRUDE  COLDEX  HUSSEY.  3S 

innocent  prattle  under  her  window,  but  that  she  did 
not  ask  to  see  them,  excepting  mornings  and  even- 
ings. She  was  told  that  she  must  not  look  back,  but 
forward  at  the  joys  in  store  for  her.  She  replied  she 
endeavored  to  do  so ;  that  she  dared  not  look  back^ 
and  asked  to  have  a  portion  of  Scripture  read  to  her. 
After  the  reading,  she  appeared  very  quiet  and  easy> 
and  obseiTed,  that  although  the  enemy  at  times  as- 
sailed her  with  doubts  and  fears,  intimating  that  the 
peaceful  state  of  mind  she  was,  at  times,  ftwored  with, 
was  a  delusion,  yet  that  this  conflict  did  not  continue 
loug,  and  that  she  was  mercifully  enabled  to  rest  on 
the  bosom  of  her  Saviour,  and  cast  all  her  cares  upon 
Him,  committing  herself  and  her  all  to  Him. 

6th.  The  dear  sufferer  experienced  some  conflicts-, 
durinor  the  nio-ht.  In  the  morninor  she  remarked, 
"  I  feel  such  a  weight.  I  want  to  pray  and  cannot. 
There  seems  a  load."  "I  cannot  derive  the  same>- 
consolation  from  the  promises  that  I  have  done."  She 
was  told  it  was  no  uncommon  thing  for  poor  weak 
mortals  to  be  assailed  with  doubts  and  fears ;  that 
perhaps  there  was  something  which  required  the  re- 
finer's fire,  or  puiifying,  and  that  if  her  present  suffer- 
ings were  to  fit  her  for  a  crown  incorruptible,  they 
were  worth  enduring.  She  replied  that  she  was  not 
worthy  to  suffer,  that  she  had  faith  to  believe  she 
should  at  last  be  admitted,  but  that  her  mind  was 
distressed,  and  the  cause  was  hidden  from  her.  She- 


34 


GERTRUDE  COLDEN  HUSSEY. 


then  wished  to  be  left  a  little  while  alone,  and  shortly- 
after  said  she  felt  more  comfortable. 

lih.  Extremely  feeble,  but  her  mind  quietly  trust- 
ing. 

8th.  Gave  suitable  advice  to  a  little  nephew,  who 
had  come  to  see  her  for  the  last  time,  and  urged  his 
reading  the  Scriptures  daily  when  by  himself.  Por- 
tions of  the  sacred  volume  were  read  to  her  several 
times  during  the  day.  Indeed,  the  Bible  was  her  re- 
sort very  frequently,  and  many  times,  both  night  and 
day,  she  wished  to  hear  it.  She  inquired  if  it  was 
not  thought  her  father  was  becoming  more  reconciled 
to  parting  with  her.  Shortly  after,  she  remarked, 
"  I  am  sweetly  reposing  in  the  arms  of  ray  Heavenly 
Father."  This  appeared  to  be  remarkably  the  case. 
The  sweetness  of  her  spirit  bore  evidence  that  she  was 
indeed  with  Jesus. 

9th.  To  her  father  she  said,  "  Perfectly  resigned." 
A  httle  after,  "I  cannot  speak  much."  "If  I  do  not 
answer  you  when  you  speak  to  me,  it  will  be  because 
I  am  too  weak."  "  I  feel  very  happy."  "  Give  my 
love  to  every  one,  as  though  named." 

10th.  Much  revived,  which  we  cannot  but  regard 
as  an  answer  to  prayer ;  as  she  had  supplicated  the 
preceding  day,  that  she  might  be  favored  with 
strength  to  liave  some  further  conversation  with  her 
husband,  and  to  make  additional  arrangements  re- 
specting her  children.    This  she  was  enabled  to  ac- 


GEPcTRl'DE  COLDEN  HUSSEY. 


35 


complish,  and  had  several  interviews  with  her  endeared 
husband  and  other  members  of  the  family. 

11th.  Again  much  reduced,  and  able  to  converse 
but  little ;  yet  her  mind  appeared  very  peaceful. 

13th.  She  remarked  to  one  of  the  family,  who  was 
with  her  the  latter  part  of  the  night,  that  she  had  had 
some  conflicts;  that  she  knew  the  trial  proceeded  from 
the  enemy,  and  it  did  not  last  long.  In  the  morning 
she  was  very  low,  but  tranquil.  Xothing  appeared  to 
disturb  the  peace  and  serenity  which  were  e^'idently 
the  covering  of  her  spirit.  At  12  o'clock  she  ap- 
peared more  than  usually  prostrated,  and  her  respira- 
tion increasingly  labored.  She  was  raised  to  a  more 
upright  position,  which  jxirtially  relieved  her.  The 
sweetness  of  her  countenance  was  very  marked.  The 
reading  of  a  portion  of  Scripture  was  proposed.  She 
assented,  and  the  21st  chapter  of  Revelation  was  se- 
lected. She  had  frequently  asked  to  hear  this,  and 
now,  that  she  was  about  to  be  dissolved  of  mortality, 
and  on  the  confines  of  the  celestial  city,  the  reading 
of  it  was  accompanied  with  unusual  solemnity.  Soon 
after,  she  quietly  remarked,  "  I  think  I  am  going." 
On  the  family  assembling  around  her  bed,  she  sweetly 
said,  "A  kiss  from  you  all."  '*!  wish  I  could  take 
you  all  with  me."  Finding  she  was  not  to  be  re- 
leased quite  so  soon  as  she  had  anticipated,  she  said. 
"  Jesus  is  not  ready  for  me  yet."  Shortly  after,  "  Pa- 
tience ! "  "  Only  the  poor  body."    Then,  at  intervals. 


36 


GERTRUDE  COLDEN  HUSSEY 


"Beautiful  City!"  "  Sweet  Jesus  I "  H  Glory;"  "Come, 
Lord  Jesus  ! "  and  a  few  words  whicli  were  not  under- 
stood, when  her  purified  spirit  was  released  from  its 
tabernacle  of  clay,  and,  we  doubt  not,  admitted  among 
the  redeemed  children  of  the  Lamb,  to  magnify  and 
adore  His  ever  blessed  nnuie. 


THE  END, 


